My Mom died late in the evening on Sunday, March 4, 2007. I have never known life without her, and I sit here now facing the giant hole in my world that was once filled by her presence, that no one will ever again be able to fill.
I don't grieve for HER, but for myself, for having to face the rest of my time here on Earth without her. I am almost sorry that it won't hurt so much as time goes by... it seems disloyal somehow. I know that her pain is over and that she is now in Glory with her Lord, but... I miss her. I will always miss her. It was for her eyes that I began these pages, and I always chose my words as if I were writing to her. I know she always read them, even though she never would post a comment, even when I begged. She was shy of computers that way.
On the other hand, it is good to feel Joy returning to my life as the weeks go by. To be honest, I have gotten bored with being sad and I am pretty sure Mom wouldn't approve of prolonged moping either.
The totally unexpected difficulty is that, while I want to *want* to do something, I can't think of anything that I really want to do. I haven't forgotten her portrait, but I don't think I'm up to facing that project quite yet.
Who says the Lord doesn't provide, however...
My very dear daughter-in-law came to visit us this weekend (DS is still at sea for another month or so with the Navy) and she brought along a project for me to consult on. She had an old dress that she wanted to convert into a costume suitable for wearing to the Renaissance Faires in her area this summer. Bless her -- neither one of us knew it at the time, (I don't *think* she planned it anyway...) but that was exactly the medicine I needed.
I hope she doesn't hate me for posting this picture -- she had just gotten out of the shower and I didn't even let the poor girl comb her hair! My fault entirely!! -- but I need to show off how pretty the dress turned out, and how wonderfully she wears it.
There is no way we were ever going to match the color of the original fabric, so we opted for a blending shade, and I think (not so humble opinion time!) it turned out even better that way. The green and the blue compliment each other beautifully, and the trims tie everything together so it looks as if it were designed to be this way from scratch.
I'm afraid that I did rather take over the whole project, but I did "let" her do all the basting and hemming, LOL!
I look forward to hearing DS's opinion. Perhaps when he sees how beautiful she is, he will agree to a costume of his own. He is completely unyielding on the subject of wearing the tights required for a man's Renaissance costume. Imagine that!