Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Life Goes On

My Mom died late in the evening on Sunday, March 4, 2007. I have never known life without her, and I sit here now facing the giant hole in my world that was once filled by her presence, that no one will ever again be able to fill.

I don't grieve for HER, but for myself, for having to face the rest of my time here on Earth without her. I am almost sorry that it won't hurt so much as time goes by... it seems disloyal somehow. I know that her pain is over and that she is now in Glory with her Lord, but... I miss her. I will always miss her. It was for her eyes that I began these pages, and I always chose my words as if I were writing to her. I know she always read them, even though she never would post a comment, even when I begged. She was shy of computers that way.

On the other hand, it is good to feel Joy returning to my life as the weeks go by. To be honest, I have gotten bored with being sad and I am pretty sure Mom wouldn't approve of prolonged moping either.

The totally unexpected difficulty is that, while I want to *want* to do something, I can't think of anything that I really want to do. I haven't forgotten her portrait, but I don't think I'm up to facing that project quite yet.

Who says the Lord doesn't provide, however...

My very dear daughter-in-law came to visit us this weekend (DS is still at sea for another month or so with the Navy) and she brought along a project for me to consult on. She had an old dress that she wanted to convert into a costume suitable for wearing to the Renaissance Faires in her area this summer. Bless her -- neither one of us knew it at the time, (I don't *think* she planned it anyway...) but that was exactly the medicine I needed.

I hope she doesn't hate me for posting this picture -- she had just gotten out of the shower and I didn't even let the poor girl comb her hair! My fault entirely!! -- but I need to show off how pretty the dress turned out, and how wonderfully she wears it.

There is no way we were ever going to match the color of the original fabric, so we opted for a blending shade, and I think (not so humble opinion time!) it turned out even better that way. The green and the blue compliment each other beautifully, and the trims tie everything together so it looks as if it were designed to be this way from scratch.

I'm afraid that I did rather take over the whole project, but I did "let" her do all the basting and hemming, LOL!

I look forward to hearing DS's opinion. Perhaps when he sees how beautiful she is, he will agree to a costume of his own. He is completely unyielding on the subject of wearing the tights required for a man's Renaissance costume. Imagine that!


Jan D said...

First What a beautiful picture of mother and child --DID you paint that???--DO you mind if I print it out for myself?? I wont-- until you give me permission --and then What a lovely Daughter-in-law-- and her gown is gorgeous!!You two make a great team ..As a mother ( grandmother etc)I hope I am remembered as fondly and I hope my children carry on as wonderfully as you are!! Hugsw Jan D

Jan D said...

Welll this is my second try to post Judi..Hope it doesnt go up twice as it said it took the first one..Love the picture of the mother and Child Did you paint it and can I print it out for myself??I wont until I get permission!! Ialso love the gown You have a lovely daughter in law and you two make a good team and last but not least As a Mom I only hope i am as fondly remembered and that my children carry on so beautifully

Judi said...

You did a wonderful job on the dress - you set the sleeves in and everything? EEEKS! I also love the picture of the mother and child. I am glad that you are starting to move along in your grief process - doing things you love can only help!

Shashi Nayagam said...

Judi the pain will ease but her love will be with you always. She is in a better place now and she would want you to move on and be happy.
That dress is superb and your DIL looks very pretty. What a lovely way to start the healing process .

Kai said...

Absolutely STUNNING!We have a huge Renaissance festival just outside of Houston each year, but never Renaissance FAERY festivals! HOW FUN! I agree that the blended colors make the dress look especially authentic & lovely! Your DIL is so young and fresh-faced (with that 'girl next door' innocence I think is beautiful & rare!) Your son will flip when he sees her in this dress! Good luck getting him into those period tights, tho'! LOL! Guys have a real stubborn streak about those things.

Jennifer said...

"But I did "let" her do all the basting and hemming."

Don't let her fool you, ladies. The project was way above my head. I had no idea how complicated medieval sleeves could be. I have never sewn anything on my own, and there were all sorts of little quirks in my dress that only an experienced seamstress would have been able to deal with. Basting and hemming were the next step for me, and I was glad to learn them. I think we both needed project therapy.

Now I just need to convince her to come up and attend one of the Renaissance faires with me this summer. Think of the picture opportunities, Mom.

p.s. second time. Didn't seem to go through the first time.

Belinda Manning said...

The dress is beautiful and she is stunning in it! Wet hair and all. My she looks like such a gentle little soui,

Much love and light to you as you move forward. May you find all that you need to support you.

Seth A. said...

I suppose I'm DS, but anyway, I love the dress. It's gorgeous, almost as much as the woman who is wearing it. Can't wait to see her wear it in real life.