Life Goes On

My Mom died late in the evening on Sunday, March 4, 2007. I have never known life without her, and I sit here now facing the giant hole in my world that was once filled by her presence, that no one will ever again be able to fill.

I don't grieve for HER, but for myself, for having to face the rest of my time here on Earth without her. I am almost sorry that it won't hurt so much as time goes by... it seems disloyal somehow. I know that her pain is over and that she is now in Glory with her Lord, but... I miss her. I will always miss her. It was for her eyes that I began these pages, and I always chose my words as if I were writing to her. I know she always read them, even though she never would post a comment, even when I begged. She was shy of computers that way.

On the other hand, it is good to feel Joy returning to my life as the weeks go by. To be honest, I have gotten bored with being sad and I am pretty sure Mom wouldn't approve of prolonged moping either.

The totally unexpected difficulty is that, while I want to *want* to do something, I can't think of anything that I really want to do. I haven't forgotten her portrait, but I don't think I'm up to facing that project quite yet.

Who says the Lord doesn't provide, however...

My very dear daughter-in-law came to visit us this weekend (DS is still at sea for another month or so with the Navy) and she brought along a project for me to consult on. She had an old dress that she wanted to convert into a costume suitable for wearing to the Renaissance Faires in her area this summer. Bless her -- neither one of us knew it at the time, (I don't *think* she planned it anyway...) but that was exactly the medicine I needed.

I hope she doesn't hate me for posting this picture -- she had just gotten out of the shower and I didn't even let the poor girl comb her hair! My fault entirely!! -- but I need to show off how pretty the dress turned out, and how wonderfully she wears it.

There is no way we were ever going to match the color of the original fabric, so we opted for a blending shade, and I think (not so humble opinion time!) it turned out even better that way. The green and the blue compliment each other beautifully, and the trims tie everything together so it looks as if it were designed to be this way from scratch.

I'm afraid that I did rather take over the whole project, but I did "let" her do all the basting and hemming, LOL!

I look forward to hearing DS's opinion. Perhaps when he sees how beautiful she is, he will agree to a costume of his own. He is completely unyielding on the subject of wearing the tights required for a man's Renaissance costume. Imagine that!

A Spring Sculpt

Remember the little head I posted a week or so ago? In an effort to stay busy and not think about flying through a blizzard tomorrow, I have begun to give it a form. The little fey face is so charming, but I just couldn't imagine what to do about that horn...


He finally told me that he wanted to be a Dragonfly. Oh yes, I can DO that!
His torso was pretty easy to sculpt. I used a blend of ProSculpt Light and Cernit, which is a BREEZE to work with. Now that I see a photo though, I wish I had made him just a little slimmer.

I am especially proud of the muscle definition in his back. I can actually *see* his traps and lats flexing as he pulls his arms back. Thank goodness for anatomy books for artists! You can't really tell from the photo, but he also have a very cute little butt.

The coloring in his tail is made of slices of a cane of Premo Sculpey in green pearl, blue pearl, pearl, black, and blue. I covered it with Pearl-Ex when it was finished, but now I'm kind of sorry I did that. You can't see the detail of the cane slices very well any more. Oh well, I'll know better next time.

The finial on the end of his tail is made of Swarovski crystals.

When he is finished he will also have a lovely set of wings made of Fantasy Film, microbeads, and art glitter. Oh, yes, and also a left hand and a completed hairstyle. I'm not sure what to do about painting his face OR his horn. Ack... decisions, decisions! I'll think about those parts when I get to them!

I have another head in the studio that wants to be a female version of the same figure. I think with her I will try to do a red dragonfly though. I found a photo of one on the 'net when I was researching dragonfly tail shapes and they are gorgeous! I already have her wings started...

And finally, I want to send thanks to everyone for the prayers and well wishes they have lavished on me and my family as we face my mother's final illness. I can't express how comforting your thoughtful notes have been this past week. I am flying home to be with her tomorrow, and ask that you continue to pray for me as the weather reports are not looking so good! Oh well, whatever will happen is going to happen and I will just have to cope with it. But I really DON'T want to get stuck in an airport in a blizzard!